Saturday, April 27, 2013

The Most Meaningful Gift I Have Ever Received....

Painting: Be It Unto Me by Liz Lemon Swindle

Last weekend was amazing! We drove for about four hours to see "A" and her family. B and I had planned this trip before we received the results, and decided that we were going to drive there regardless of what the results turned out to be. I loved spending time with "A"! This time with had the opportunity to come to her house and meet her wonderful children. They were so nice to my little "K" and had such a great time playing together. K kept telling me they are her friends and didn't want to go home after spending time with them. I wished we would be closer...

Before we left, "A" gave me a beautiful gift bag. I opened it in our car as were driving back home. It was this beautiful picture of Mary, Jesus' mother with a cute card that said:

"Remember when I told you I opened my night stand and found a picture that comforted me, but I had never seen it in my life before? This is it. I stare at it everyday and think of you". Love always, "A"

I am filled with joy and gratitude every time I see this picture. And it now represents way more than I ever thought I was going to be able to experience in this life! What a wonderful reminder! I will cherish this in my heart forever! Once again, thank you "A", words are short to express the immense gratitude that I feel towards you and your family! You will be blessed!

The Results!

I am so overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, humility, and peace after receiving such an amazing news! "A" texted me this picture on 4/16/13 while waiting for the results of the blood test that she took that morning. We were hoping to get the results that same day, but the typical calm person that I am was about to eat all of her short fingernails during the wait :-) So "A" and I, after talking to "B", decided to have this pregnancy test done right away once we found out that the blood test results were not going to be received until the next day. The chances of getting a false negative, however, are somehow common so I tried not to get too overly excited.

The next day in the morning I received a phone call from the nurse at the clinic confirming the pregnancy with a "Beta" number of 351 which is considered a good number. She also gave me a December 20 due date and congratulated us. I am soooo excited!!! This is the best news that I have received in a very long time!

I feel strongly that my Heavenly Father's will was done here and an immense feeling of peace has come to my body and mind and has remained since then...

I wish "A" would be closer so could give her a very big hug, so we plan to come over to visit them on the weekend!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

04/04/13 The unforgetable day...

Who would have thought I would be sitting here writing about all my feelings about such an unforgettable event. I am overwhelmed by so many different feelings, wonderful feelings; gratitude being the strongest at this time. I cannot even express in words how grateful I am for knowing such an amazing person, and even more, so tenderhearted, selfless, and unconditionally loving to take my place and walk this path with us. Thank you "A", for being our gestational carrier, but even more, our friend, our God sent angel, our hope! No matter what, we will always be grateful for this opportunity for the rest of our lives! We love you!!!

These to embyros, one of good quality and the other one not so good, as you can see in the picture were transferred into our gestational carrier. They are about 6 days old and have been frozen for almost 4 years. Statistically speaking the chance of these embryos to survive is on the 30something percent, which I guess it only means that it can happen. We are praying this time and always for Our Heavenly Father's will to be done in our lives. We have done our part...

To read A's version of this event, go to her blog She does a way better job at describing the facts than I do :-)

How did we end up here? Our story...

B and I met at our Church’s singles ward. We were both in our thirties and have never been married. We both spent a lot of years going to school and working. We felt so blessed to have met each other and immediately felt a deep connection. After about nine months of dating, we both felt very confident and excited to get married and start a family of our own. B and I got married in May 17 2008.
After about a couple of years of unsuccessful attempts to start a family, we opted for seeking the help of fertility specialists. They run tests on both of us and after receiving the results of Brandon's tests, we were advised that IVF was the best option to pursue. Our IVF treatment ended up in a successful pregnancy during  the first attempt in 2009. Luckily, we also ended up with a couple of extra embryos that we froze with the purpose of implanting them in me a couple of years later. In June of 2010, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl into our world! We love her very much and are so blessed to have her in our lives! 
In October of 2011 we returned to our fertility clinic to implant those frozen embryos and felt super excited to start IVF  once again. Just a few days after having started the IVF cycle, I decided to go to my family doctor to have a small lump I felt on my left breast checked just for peace of mind. It did not occur to me that anything could go wrong. There was no way on this earth that it could be anything serious since I was feeling so strong and healthy. My doctor sent me to have a first mammogram followed by ultrasounds and biopsies that ended up in a breast cancer diagnosis in November of 2011. I remember so clearly the heart ache of such devastating news! There were so many thoughts going through my head, so many emotions, and fears that are almost indescribable.  I turned to Brandon and told him, I don't know what hurts more, having received the news that I have cancer or having to stop the IVF cycle.

The next twelve months were followed by innumerable appointments with doctors, surgeries, a series of chemotherapy and radiation treatments that I never thought I would ever experience. But at the same time, I can say that this was the most humbling, most en-lighting, most strengthening time of my life. It made me feel so close to my Heavenly Father and increased my faith in Him. It has taught me innumerable lessons that I know I never would have learned otherwise. For that reason, I would not change  a thing about it even if I could.

Now, a year and a half later, I feel very strong, healthy, and eternally grateful for my life, my family, and friends for the unconditional love and support they have given me through this difficult time. I am truly blessed and a believer of miracles! On the down side, this experience had left me physically incapable to carry a pregnancy again. 

What do we do now? That was the question that B and I asked ourselves many times! We have these two live embryos. Literally, two little unborn human beings in their very first stages of life. Should we let them die now because I am not able to carry them myself? That just did not feel right to us! God knows how much we would love to feel the joy and happiness of bringing another life into this world once again! Brandon and I started researching quite a bit about the surrogacy process and to make a long story short, it just felt right to us! We felt strongly that we should give this a try before considering an adoption. 

As B and I started taking the very first steps to start this process, a name and a face kept popping up into our minds, it was the wife of one of my husband's friends and previous co-worker whom he has kept in touch throughout the years. I had the opportunity to meet her a few years ago and her sweetness and motherly demeanor had stayed in my mind. I was pregnant with my little K at the time. I remember so clearly her telling me how much she enjoyed each one of her pregnancies and how that was best time of her life. I never told her, but those words stayed in my mind and made my own pregnancy even sweeter and more enjoyable. A few weeks after B and I had discussed how this particular person kept popping up in our minds, N, her husband, happened to call B to discuss some work related issue. B didn't waste any time and told N a little bit more about our lives and what we were thinking on doing. To my surprise, he told B that his wife had considered being a gestational carrier in the past. I couldn't believe that! Since then I just started to feel that things were starting to fall into place. 

I truly believe that our Heavenly Father has been preparing us for this! Well, through the next few days, and after several phone conversations with A, prayers and inspiration, I received another answer from Heaven and from this remarkable woman on earth giving me opportunity to embark with us on this amazing "service project", as she put it. I never could have put it in better words! We love you A!