Ten Weeks...

On Friday we woke up at 4:30 am for our 4 hour drive to get to our 9:30 am appointment with the OBGYN on time.  Each time I am there it seems a little bit like a surreal experience. I feel like I am dreaming it and I feeI like pinching myself to come back to reality. I guess sometimes I  have that  "it is too good to be true" kind of feeling... However, this time as soon as I saw that little baby move on the ultrasound all of my fears seemed to go away. It was the first time we saw little baby move! He or she was squirting all over the place. I could see tiny little hands, feet, and head. It was so comforting to hear the dr say that this was one little active baby that looked as healthy as he or she can be. I am so grateful that everything is going so well with "A" and the baby. 

A Very Meaningful Mother's Day!

This Mother's Day was of particular significance to me for a number of reasons; reasons that I feel keep increasing by the day. I feel so blessed! I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother once again! Looking back, I don't think I ever would have imagined to be a witness of such an amazing miracle in my life! As I sat during Church on Sunday I couldn't help to just feel absolutely emotional at everything I heard. I wish I could blame it on my hormones but I can't (lol).

 During the Relief Society class I was particularly touched by one of the discussions about Our Savior's mercy as showed to Mary of Magdalene when Jesus told her (in my own words) that she was saved because of her great love. The teacher emphasized how amazing that was, how merciful of the Son of God to forgive someone because He knew he had a loving heart. How amazing is that! That most of our imperfections can be overlooked because of our great love towards others, a quality that characterizes most women. I couldn't have heard anything more fulfilling this Mother's Day! I felt a very strong spirit of gratitude, humility, and  immense love toward my Heavenly Father and everyone around me there. But, especially to someone who I wished I could have hugged on mother's day and of course that is amazing "A". This time I am celebrating you and the immense love that you have in your heart! I don't think my heart and mind would have been open to understand the magnitude of "love" have I not gone through this experience! All my love to all the mothers and women I know, especially to the one who is sacrificing so much right now to bring more happiness into our lives. Love you "A"!

Viability Ultrasound...

May 2nd at 10:30 am was our very first ultrasound. Typically, among normal pregnancies, OBGYN's do not perform an ultrasound this early in the pregnancy, but considering that  a fertility process is involved, the clinic ordered this for us.

We live about 4 hours away from "A", so we woke up at 5 am on Thursday. Considering the scare from the day before, (read more about it on "A" blog here) and the fact that I couldn't sleep the night before, you can imagine that this drive seemed like an eternity. I did most of the driving while my husband slept peacefully on the passenger seat he reclined to be more comfortable.  How can he sleep right now?  I thought to myself more than once while driving. And then, once again, I had to remind myself how different we women are from men ;-)

Once we got to the dr's office, I got very excited again to see "A" seating in the lobby, and then I got anxious one more time not knowing what was going to happen later. Will they tell there is one baby, two, or perhaps none? I kicked that last thought out of my mind and I felt at peace once again. A few minutes later "A"'s husband arrived, and all of a sudden, for no reason, I felt nervous once again. That just to show you what a nervous wreck I was...

Soon the nurse called "A" in. She went in there by herself, which I figured was a good idea so she can explain to them this unusual situation of having two couples waiting for this appointment instead of one. Shortly after, "A" called me in and we both went in together to the ultrasound room. The ultrasound tech was very polite and did a great job at explaining what was on the screen. I so appreciated her making eye contact with me as well; that meant a lot to me. As the picture above shows, she explained to us that 2 sacs initially develop for two embryos, but one of them was empty. All of a sadden, a feeling of sadness overcame me, just as when you loose something you care very much for. I don't know how to better explain it than that. Then, she went on to explain that the other embryo sac looked good, healthy, and the heart rate was in the normal range. I felt so grateful at that time! We are so blessed, so so so blessed! I am so eternally grateful to my Father in Heaven for the opportunity to be a mother once again and for trusting me with one of his little ones to one as imperfect as I! What else can I ask for? I will continue to be the best I can be and to serve Him with all my mind, heart, and strength for the rest of my life and all eternity...

Ah, and, before I forget, we are seven weeks now... with a next appointment scheduled for the 24th of May.  I have decided that this time I will ask to meet with the doctor for a minute before the next appointment. Although that is not an easy thing for me to do, I think he needs to understand a little more about this (yes, I know), awkward situation. I know and understand there are very few doctors, especially in this state, who have dealt with a gestational surrogacy. On the other hand, if he doesn't know where we all come from and why is this is taking place, he may just guess it, and that I don't think is a good idea. I need them to know and understand that we are the biological parents of this tiny baby and that, perhaps next time, he will not call me the surrogate and perhaps the nurses and receptionist will make a little more eye contact with me, as none of us here have anything to hide :-)

On a different note, these beautiful flowers were given to me by beautiful "A" as we said good bye that day! She gave them to me for my birthday which was on the first! How much better can my stressful day turn! Not only did I get the best news in the world but I also got some amazing flowers from an amazing woman! I can only say this was the best birthday I had in years! I have received the best news I could expect and I only have one person (and a whole family) on this earth to thank for that! Thanks "A"! We love you!