Welcome to the World!!!

Welcome to the world my little miracle baby...

BORN DECEMBER 16TH 2013 AT 4:50PM

WEIGHT 8 LB 4OZ  LENGTH 20 IN

You were blessed to have a lot of people waiting and caring for you! You are so loved! Words fall short to express the miracle of your birth, the spirit felt, and the love from your parents, birth mother, and all the friends that surrounded us! Thanks to all those amazing people present at the birth and wonderful staff at the hospital that were so loving and caring with every single one of us! We love you so much baby "A"!

The Final Countdown...

Wow! It feels like this has been one of the longest weeks of my life. There has been so much anticipation for this baby to come I can hardly wait!

He will be here in just two more days!!! This is the only thing I can think about for the last few days. Just today I was thinking and commenting with my husband about how long this little miracle has waited to come into this world! As most of you know by know he was tiny embryo that was frozen for about three years! I am convinced that he really wanted to come to this world and there will be a lot of joy everywhere at his birth! We surely are very excited to welcome him and he is an amazing little person to me already. I feel very strongly about that and feel so privileged to be called his mother!

My husband can testify that for the last few weeks I have been working in my house like crazy! I have painted walls, furniture, got rid of a lot of old and unnecessary items around the house, hanged stuff on the walls, done tones of laundry, folded clothes, and cleaned everything I can think of. I just want my house to look very beautiful and clean to welcome this amazing little person into our home! I think I feel ready now. I just have to finish packing everything. We are heading to the hospital tomorrow. We will drive four hours to get there and we have an scheduled induction on Monday. Please remember us in your prayers so that everything goes well and as planned for "A" and our little miracle baby. We are super excited!

THE NURSERY (I'm so happy about how it turned out)

Most FAQ's...

In the last couple of months my husband and I decided to be a little more open about sharing our good news. We are so exited about the coming of our little miracle that it just felt hard to enjoy it at its fullest unless we could openly share our happiness with others we know. I've been showered with so much love and good wishes for everyone of us involved in this experience. I am so blessed and grateful for being surrounded by so many amazing people!  I wanted my friends and neighbors to know the how and why about our decision and to feel free to ask any questions about our experience. So, here are my mostly frequently asked questions:

1. DO I THINK OUR GESTATIONAL SURROGATE WILL HAVE A HARD TIME LETTING GO OF OUR BABY AT BIRTH?

Well, although i do not attempt to answer for her because I am not in her shoes, I can say for a fact that the birth of this miracle baby is going to be a very emotional moment for all of us for a number of reasons, not just the fact that we will be the ones taking this baby home. I am sure there are many of feelings that are going to come to the surface at the time: happiness, gratitude, and immense love. To better explain this situation I pictured myself  babysitting one of my friends baby for a period of nine months; knowing that his mom will be back and take him home. Although I know that day will come, I'm sure I will still feel sad when he is gone because I got used to having him around even though I knew it was just for a while. However, as much as I care for him I know I will not attempt to keep him because I know he belongs with his family. But, I will love to stay in touch and know how he is doing. "A" explained her feelings so much more eloquently than I ever could in one of her posts. Click here to read it!

2. HOW DO GESTATIONAL SURROGATES GET PREGNANT? A gestational surrogacy requires the transfer of a previously created embryo, and for this reason the process always takes place in a clinical setting. An embryo is an organism in the early stages of development, in other words, an already fertilized egg and sperm. In our particular case, because we did IVF (In-vitro fertilization), this embryo was artificially fertilized in a lab and was about five days old and frozen for almost three years at the time of transfer. A variety of fertility medications are also given to make this type of pregnancies work.

3. IS SURROGACY LEGAL IN THE STATE OF UT? Yes, surrogacy is legal in the state of Utah. However, as opposed to other states, in the state of UT we are required to present medical verification that we, (or me, in this particular case) are not able to carry a pregnancy. In other words, the courts will not allow you to utilize a gestational surrogate just because you are avoiding getting pregnant. This process most of the time requires the use of an attorney to be able to file all paperwork with the courts prior to embryo transfer.

4. WHAT IS THE GENDER OF THE BABY AND WHEN IS THE DUE DATE? This amazing miracle baby is a boy. The official due date is December 20th, but due to us being about four hours away and not willing to miss his birth for anything in this world, we have an estimated induction date of December 16th. 

We can't be more grateful, excited, and nervous to witness this miracle take place only about ten days from today. I can't wait to meet my little guy and see his cute little face!

Surrogacy as a Moral Issue Explained...

I thought many times about defining and expanding a bit more about the whole concept of surrogacy but I kind of talked myself out of it. There is actually more than one reason for it; the first one being that regardless of what it means to me, which is the ultimate gift, it is for a number of reasons, a controversial topic in our society. And the second being that it is quite uncommon for a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon) to be the parent of a child conceived through surrogacy.  

I want the whole world to know that I stand very firm on my believes and testimony about the truthfulness of the gospel and authority of my Church, and have not ever felt any degree of disapproval in our personal decision to pursue surrogacy in our situation. As with most important decisions in our lives, I understand the degree to which this is a personal issue that is taken to our Father in Heaven for consideration.

All that being said, allow me to define some terms for you:

Traditional Surrogacy is when the surrogate mother uses her own eggs to create the child that she is carrying for the intended parents or individual. Either the sperm of the intended father is used or donor sperm. Even though the surrogate mother has a genetic connection to the child all intentions are for her to grant parental rights of the child she is carrying to the intended parents or individual that she has created a legal agreement with prior to the start of the cycle. The child is handed over to the other party right after the birth.

Gestational Surrogacy is when the surrogate carries a pregnancy and delivers a child that is created from the egg and the sperm of the intended parents. The key to this type of surrogacy is that the gestational surrogate is not genetically related to the child and acts only as a gestational carrier for the pregnancy.

As all of you know by now our surrogacy type is the latter, gestational surrogacy. 

Vanessa, a fellow LDS member and former surrogate, did an excellent job at explaining surrogacy as a moral issue within our Church on her blog here. So for lack of better words a will quote her as follows:

"Homosexuals using a Surrogate is discouraged

Single Woman using a Surrogate is discouraged

Unmarried Couples using a Surrogate is discouraged

Woman using a Surrogate simply to avoid the inconvenience of pregnancy is discouraged

People selling their eggs or sperm is discouraged 

Traditional Surrogacy is discouraged (the situation in which the Surrogate uses her own egg and then gives the baby to the intended parents)

There must be a good reason why the Intended Mother cannot carry her own child. The one and only circumstance in which I believe Surrogacy to be morally acceptable is in the case of a GESTATIONAL SURROGACY. The circumstance in which the Intended Mother and Father are the biological parents of the child, and they simply need someone to grow and carry their baby. The intended parents must be heterosexual and married with a strong relationship. This is also the situation in which the Church fully supports Surrogacy"

Only 60 More Days to Go...

Beautiful photo by Heidi at Monkeyface Photography

Lately I have been overwhelmed by a number of emotions or, as my sister simply put it, just as hormonal as a 31 week pregnant mother. Well, I have to admit although I am not physically pregnant she is right. The thought of this little miracle coming into my life in just a few weeks brings tears to my eyes more often than not. I can't wait to see his little face, and I wonder everyday how he will look like.

Last week I had a wonderful time with "A". We had the chance to chat, go to lunch, and even have a photo shoot together. I'm so happy that we had this opportunity! We both realized that as the due date approaches there are a number of things to talk and decide about. I am so grateful about her openness and consideration as we discussed the birth plan. I have to admit that sometimes is not easy to bring up this subject for me because I am constantly concerned for her feelings and well being, and don't ever want to do or say anything to hurt her even unintentionally. She made it so easy for me though. We even had the opportunity to tour the delivery and nursery areas in the hospital. She also told the nurse and obgyn that she would like the baby to be put on me at birth. I felt like she was reading my mind and a warm feeling overcame my body as I heard her say those words. Thanks "A" for opportunity to let me experience such a life changing moment that I will cherish forever!

As I think of this moment that will take place in just a few weeks, I can picture the moment to be close to what was so beautifully portrayed on this video:

  

My Perspective as a Mother: Some of my Fears as the Big Day Approaches...

One of the reasons why I decided to start this blog was to educate and inform, perhaps other prospective parents out there considering surrogacy about everything involved in this journey. When my husband and I first considered it, we googled in search of information from a parental perspective and found very limited information about surrogacy in our state. It wasn't until we were able to find a very experienced attorney on the subject that we got all of our questions answered. He confirmed to us that in fact surrogacy IS legal in the state of Utah and walked us through the entire process which included getting approval from the courts before even starting the process. To make a long story short, we started this a process about seven months before the embryo transfer. It had consumed a lot of our time, energy, financial resources, and emotional well being. We did it because we knew and felt from the very beginning that it was the right thing for us to do. Now, we can only say that it has been all well worth it! Not easy, but so worth it!

Perhaps there may be some out there that think that we intended mothers have it easy because we are not going through the typical struggles of carrying the belly. To which I can only say, at least from my own experience, that there is absolutely nothing more in this world that I wish I could do than to carry my own child and go through even the hardest physical struggles just to have him now and feel him grow.

This journey although joyful, full of expectations, and gratitude has not been an easy one. I often have to remind my sensitive side that this is a very unusual situation to avoid getting hurt by the comments or questions of some people. When referring to our surrogacy, I have had people ask questions such as how is the baby's "mom" doing (referring to the surrogate), I have been warned more than once about the possibility of our surrogate keeping the baby, I have shocked one or two people with my big news enough to make them decide not want to talk to me any more, just to mention a few examples.

However, the most difficult and emotional moment of this journey is still to come. I am referring to the birth day of this wonderful miracle of mine. Last week we had a discussion with our attorney about what is to take place that day. I have to admit it almost gave me an anxiety attack just to hear him describe the steps and the timing of the things that should take place at the birth of my child. Although all the medical staff in the hospital will be informed of the situation, I have to admit that my greatest fear is that the doctors and staff of our conservative community are not going to let me experience the joy of welcoming my own biological child into this world. I am afraid they may not freely allow me to see him in the nursery or that I may not be called his "mom" . We are still wondering if the hospital will let us stay in another room throughout the stay, as were told that is up to them to allow us to do that. (Sigh) I guess I have all these next ten weeks to prepare myself  mentally to prevent myself from being the emotional mess that I typically am.

Into the third trimester - 28 Weeks...

This week I drove 4 hours again for our 28 week appointment. This marks the beginning of the third trimester. I can't believe the time is approaching so quickly now. Our appointments are going to be every two weeks now. With the holidays approaching it feels like baby will here very soon! 

During our appointment I got to hear the baby's heartbeat one more time. It is always exciting and comforting to know he is healthy. We also found out that baby is measuring 30 weeks already. I think this baby is going to be big like my little "K" when she was born! They gotta to be my husband's genes! Apparently he has also inherited my husband's appetite.  As I like to say, my husband eats only once a day, yep, all day long (lol) :-)

To make things even more exciting this past weekend I got my first baby gifts. My wonderful mother in law and my sister in law who was visiting from out of state gave me the most adorable baby boy clothes! They are the cutest thing I have seen! I can't be more excited for this baby to come. I can hardly wait!

24 weeks!!!

These last few weeks have flown by! I cant believe we only have sixteen more weeks (or maybe less) to meet this adorable baby boy! It is so exciting to see him move and be healthy!

I have been so lucky to have seen him on several ultrasounds, the last one being yesterday. Last month during the twentieth week ultrasound they noticed the fluid is his kidneys was a little higher than average so the doctor had us do another ultrasound this month to check. This time we were so relieved to find out that the fluid in his kidneys has gone gone down quite a bit and he is within normal ranges now. So grateful for that!

The wonderful ultrasound technician at the doctor's office has always been so kind and patient to allow me to take many pictures of my baby and to show us some awesome 3D views. Here are some amazing ones that I been looking at several times a day. It is so exciting to see his little body parts so cute and well defined, and to see some facial features. I like to try to see who he looks like more, my husband or me? I guess we will soon know. So far though, I can tell he inherited my husband's gigantic size 14 feet! :-)

Nesting...Already!

I remember when nesting time hit me with my first child. I was about seven months pregnant and I couldn't stop cleaning the house, setting stuff for the baby, trying to buy little clothes and blankets. I remember I had to tell myself not to pack up a hospital suitcase quite yet, and not to buy too much stuff for the baby.

I had often wondered how it would be like this time around considering that I am not carrying the belly, but I can honestly tell you that it is no different. Not a bit different at all! And, to be totally honest with you, I think nesting time has hit me even a little early this time around. I started getting rid of some of the numerous toys my daughter has that currently inundate the one room in our house that will be our baby boy's room. I have been bugging my husband to get someone to make a decent closet in that room and we have someone coming next week to start working on a brand new closet for that bedroom. Yay!!!! I've been also telling myself, once again, not to buy a bunch of baby boy stuff quiet yet...

Today we are 23 weeks. Wow! I can't believe I will have him with me in just 17 more weeks. for all those who are wondering if there is some type of a bond between me and this baby considering these circumstances. I can only say that there absolutely is! I think about this baby day and night. He is always in mind, just as it was with my first pregnancy. I just don't have the belly to prove it! ;-)

Gender Reveal! It is a...

BOY!!!

Yes! In case you haven't gotten it already by looking at the picture above! We are so excited! We would have been happy either way! But, BOY, it sure feels more real now! I think my husband was more shocked than I was. I have to admit that I sensed "boy" ever since we found out about the pregnancy, but I tried to stay open to the other possibility. 

Well, now I know that I will have to make some changes around the house since we have been everything pink and girly around here for the last three years. It will be fun to start getting ready for this amazing little guy whom I already love so very much. I know this little boy has found a very special way to come to this earth and into our family. He has been waiting for this moment for a long time and so have we. We are so excited to meet our little miracle I can hardly wait! I have my girl and my boy now. What else can I ask for? Love, "C"

Two More Weeks...

Yes, I am so excited that in two weeks from today we will find out if we are having a boy or a girl! Do I have a preference? Absolutely not! I am so excited that I will get to welcome a another little bundle of joy into our house and see our little family grow! This event though makes it feel even more real. As it was with my first baby, I know that once I find out what we are having I will start preparing for him or her making it super exciting time! I can't wait to tell you all! Stay tuned!

Fourteen Week Appointment...

I am happy to report that once again I received some good news about the growth of our baby. I heard the heartbeat which happened to be within the normal range. Baby is growing big and healthy and with no concerns. Thanks God! I know I have to constantly remind myself of how blessed I am to not ever disappoint my Heavenly Father :-) I know how easy it is to forget our blessings and start to take everything for granted and don't ever want to do that. So, everyone feel free to remind me of that at anytime...

This time I also had the opportunity to go to lunch with "A". I am so glad I was able to spend sometime with her.  Since we both have busy lives and live four hours away, it is hard to find the time to just sit down and chat. I am glad that she is slowly starting to feel back to her normal self. 

Looking forward to our next dr's appointment at the end of next month. Stay tuned, as I will be revealing the sex of the baby right here in just a few weeks...

I asked "A" to have a picture together so you can put a face to this story. I have to warn you that I am an awful photographer. So believe me, we look way better in person ;-) I think it is interesting how we have had some "look alike" comments. Maybe if I had her beautiful long dark hair and gorgeous eyes :-)

The End of the First Trimester...

Photo of pregnancy at 12 weeks via Parents.com

I have to admit that I feel a great sense of relief knowing that today is the last day of the first trimester. There is always so much unknown during these first few weeks that I think I subconsciously told myself not too get to excited yet. My husband and I talked about waiting until after the end of the first trimester before telling our friends about it; however, that didn't quite happened. I am happy to report that I did so much better than my husband, who is known for not been able to keep any secrets whatsoever :-)

Also, I have to admit that because of the nature of this pregnancy, even when people ask me how are things going, I feel I don't have very much to say. No physical evidence, symptoms, or changes to report. The truth is that this pregnancy is more about feelings, emotions, and thoughts about the baby. Perhaps, that would make time go faster for me.

Next week I get to see "A" once again for the next doctor's appointment. I can't believe it has been a month already. I want to see the growing belly and spend some time with her. This time I won't forget to get some good pictures of us while there. Thanks for stopping by!

Ten Weeks...

On Friday we woke up at 4:30 am for our 4 hour drive to get to our 9:30 am appointment with the OBGYN on time.  Each time I am there it seems a little bit like a surreal experience. I feel like I am dreaming it and I feeI like pinching myself to come back to reality. I guess sometimes I  have that  "it is too good to be true" kind of feeling... However, this time as soon as I saw that little baby move on the ultrasound all of my fears seemed to go away. It was the first time we saw little baby move! He or she was squirting all over the place. I could see tiny little hands, feet, and head. It was so comforting to hear the dr say that this was one little active baby that looked as healthy as he or she can be. I am so grateful that everything is going so well with "A" and the baby. 

A Very Meaningful Mother's Day!

This Mother's Day was of particular significance to me for a number of reasons; reasons that I feel keep increasing by the day. I feel so blessed! I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother once again! Looking back, I don't think I ever would have imagined to be a witness of such an amazing miracle in my life! As I sat during Church on Sunday I couldn't help to just feel absolutely emotional at everything I heard. I wish I could blame it on my hormones but I can't (lol).

 During the Relief Society class I was particularly touched by one of the discussions about Our Savior's mercy as showed to Mary of Magdalene when Jesus told her (in my own words) that she was saved because of her great love. The teacher emphasized how amazing that was, how merciful of the Son of God to forgive someone because He knew he had a loving heart. How amazing is that! That most of our imperfections can be overlooked because of our great love towards others, a quality that characterizes most women. I couldn't have heard anything more fulfilling this Mother's Day! I felt a very strong spirit of gratitude, humility, and  immense love toward my Heavenly Father and everyone around me there. But, especially to someone who I wished I could have hugged on mother's day and of course that is amazing "A". This time I am celebrating you and the immense love that you have in your heart! I don't think my heart and mind would have been open to understand the magnitude of "love" have I not gone through this experience! All my love to all the mothers and women I know, especially to the one who is sacrificing so much right now to bring more happiness into our lives. Love you "A"!

Viability Ultrasound...

May 2nd at 10:30 am was our very first ultrasound. Typically, among normal pregnancies, OBGYN's do not perform an ultrasound this early in the pregnancy, but considering that  a fertility process is involved, the clinic ordered this for us.

We live about 4 hours away from "A", so we woke up at 5 am on Thursday. Considering the scare from the day before, (read more about it on "A" blog here) and the fact that I couldn't sleep the night before, you can imagine that this drive seemed like an eternity. I did most of the driving while my husband slept peacefully on the passenger seat he reclined to be more comfortable.  How can he sleep right now?  I thought to myself more than once while driving. And then, once again, I had to remind myself how different we women are from men ;-)

Once we got to the dr's office, I got very excited again to see "A" seating in the lobby, and then I got anxious one more time not knowing what was going to happen later. Will they tell there is one baby, two, or perhaps none? I kicked that last thought out of my mind and I felt at peace once again. A few minutes later "A"'s husband arrived, and all of a sudden, for no reason, I felt nervous once again. That just to show you what a nervous wreck I was...

Soon the nurse called "A" in. She went in there by herself, which I figured was a good idea so she can explain to them this unusual situation of having two couples waiting for this appointment instead of one. Shortly after, "A" called me in and we both went in together to the ultrasound room. The ultrasound tech was very polite and did a great job at explaining what was on the screen. I so appreciated her making eye contact with me as well; that meant a lot to me. As the picture above shows, she explained to us that 2 sacs initially develop for two embryos, but one of them was empty. All of a sadden, a feeling of sadness overcame me, just as when you loose something you care very much for. I don't know how to better explain it than that. Then, she went on to explain that the other embryo sac looked good, healthy, and the heart rate was in the normal range. I felt so grateful at that time! We are so blessed, so so so blessed! I am so eternally grateful to my Father in Heaven for the opportunity to be a mother once again and for trusting me with one of his little ones to one as imperfect as I! What else can I ask for? I will continue to be the best I can be and to serve Him with all my mind, heart, and strength for the rest of my life and all eternity...

Ah, and, before I forget, we are seven weeks now... with a next appointment scheduled for the 24th of May.  I have decided that this time I will ask to meet with the doctor for a minute before the next appointment. Although that is not an easy thing for me to do, I think he needs to understand a little more about this (yes, I know), awkward situation. I know and understand there are very few doctors, especially in this state, who have dealt with a gestational surrogacy. On the other hand, if he doesn't know where we all come from and why is this is taking place, he may just guess it, and that I don't think is a good idea. I need them to know and understand that we are the biological parents of this tiny baby and that, perhaps next time, he will not call me the surrogate and perhaps the nurses and receptionist will make a little more eye contact with me, as none of us here have anything to hide :-)

On a different note, these beautiful flowers were given to me by beautiful "A" as we said good bye that day! She gave them to me for my birthday which was on the first! How much better can my stressful day turn! Not only did I get the best news in the world but I also got some amazing flowers from an amazing woman! I can only say this was the best birthday I had in years! I have received the best news I could expect and I only have one person (and a whole family) on this earth to thank for that! Thanks "A"! We love you!

The Most Meaningful Gift I Have Ever Received....

Painting: Be It Unto Me by Liz Lemon Swindle

Last weekend was amazing! We drove for about four hours to see "A" and her family. B and I had planned this trip before we received the results, and decided that we were going to drive there regardless of what the results turned out to be. I loved spending time with "A"! This time with had the opportunity to come to her house and meet her wonderful children. They were so nice to my little "K" and had such a great time playing together. K kept telling me they are her friends and didn't want to go home after spending time with them. I wished we would be closer...

Before we left, "A" gave me a beautiful gift bag. I opened it in our car as were driving back home. It was this beautiful picture of Mary, Jesus' mother with a cute card that said:

"Remember when I told you I opened my night stand and found a picture that comforted me, but I had never seen it in my life before? This is it. I stare at it everyday and think of you". Love always, "A"

I am filled with joy and gratitude every time I see this picture. And it now represents way more than I ever thought I was going to be able to experience in this life! What a wonderful reminder! I will cherish this in my heart forever! Once again, thank you "A", words are short to express the immense gratitude that I feel towards you and your family! You will be blessed!

The Results!

I am so overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, humility, and peace after receiving such an amazing news! "A" texted me this picture on 4/16/13 while waiting for the results of the blood test that she took that morning. We were hoping to get the results that same day, but the typical calm person that I am was about to eat all of her short fingernails during the wait :-) So "A" and I, after talking to "B", decided to have this pregnancy test done right away once we found out that the blood test results were not going to be received until the next day. The chances of getting a false negative, however, are somehow common so I tried not to get too overly excited.

The next day in the morning I received a phone call from the nurse at the clinic confirming the pregnancy with a "Beta" number of 351 which is considered a good number. She also gave me a December 20 due date and congratulated us. I am soooo excited!!! This is the best news that I have received in a very long time!
I feel strongly that my Heavenly Father's will was done here and an immense feeling of peace has come to my body and mind and has remained since then...

I wish "A" would be closer so could give her a very big hug, so we plan to come over to visit them on the weekend!

04/04/13 The unforgetable day...

Who would have thought I would be sitting here writing about all my feelings about such an unforgettable event. I am overwhelmed by so many different feelings, wonderful feelings; gratitude being the strongest at this time. I cannot even express in words how grateful I am for knowing such an amazing person, and even more, so tenderhearted, selfless, and unconditionally loving to take my place and walk this path with us. Thank you "A", for being our gestational carrier, but even more, our friend, our God sent angel, our hope! No matter what, we will always be grateful for this opportunity for the rest of our lives! We love you!!!

These to embyros, one of good quality and the other one not so good, as you can see in the picture were transferred into our gestational carrier. They are about 6 days old and have been frozen for almost 4 years. Statistically speaking the chance of these embryos to survive is on the 30something percent, which I guess it only means that it can happen. We are praying this time and always for Our Heavenly Father's will to be done in our lives. We have done our part...

To read A's version of this event, go to her blog http://theirbuninmyoven.blogspot.com/2013/04/precious-cargo.html. She does a way better job at describing the facts than I do :-)

How did we end up here? Our story...

B and I met at our Church’s singles ward. We were both in our thirties and have never been married. We both spent a lot of years going to school and working. We felt so blessed to have met each other and immediately felt a deep connection. After about nine months of dating, we both felt very confident and excited to get married and start a family of our own. B and I got married in May 17 2008.

After about a couple of years of unsuccessful attempts to start a family, we opted for seeking the help of fertility specialists. They run tests on both of us and after receiving the results of Brandon's tests, we were advised that IVF was the best option to pursue. Our IVF treatment ended up in a successful pregnancy during  the first attempt in 2009. Luckily, we also ended up with a couple of extra embryos that we froze with the purpose of implanting them in me a couple of years later. In June of 2010, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl into our world! We love her very much and are so blessed to have her in our lives! 

In October of 2011 we returned to our fertility clinic to implant those frozen embryos and felt super excited to start IVF  once again. Just a few days after having started the IVF cycle, I decided to go to my family doctor to have a small lump I felt on my left breast checked just for peace of mind. It did not occur to me that anything could go wrong. There was no way on this earth that it could be anything serious since I was feeling so strong and healthy. My doctor sent me to have a first mammogram followed by ultrasounds and biopsies that ended up in a breast cancer diagnosis in November of 2011. I remember so clearly the heart ache of such devastating news! There were so many thoughts going through my head, so many emotions, and fears that are almost indescribable.  I turned to Brandon and told him, I don't know what hurts more, having received the news that I have cancer or having to stop the IVF cycle.

The next twelve months were followed by innumerable appointments with doctors, surgeries, a series of chemotherapy and radiation treatments that I never thought I would ever experience. But at the same time, I can say that this was the most humbling, most en-lighting, most strengthening time of my life. It made me feel so close to my Heavenly Father and increased my faith in Him. It has taught me innumerable lessons that I know I never would have learned otherwise. For that reason, I would not change  a thing about it even if I could.

Now, a year and a half later, I feel very strong, healthy, and eternally grateful for my life, my family, and friends for the unconditional love and support they have given me through this difficult time. I am truly blessed and a believer of miracles! On the down side, this experience had left me physically incapable to carry a pregnancy again. 

What do we do now? That was the question that B and I asked ourselves many times! We have these two live embryos. Literally, two little unborn human beings in their very first stages of life. Should we let them die now because I am not able to carry them myself? That just did not feel right to us! God knows how much we would love to feel the joy and happiness of bringing another life into this world once again! Brandon and I started researching quite a bit about the surrogacy process and to make a long story short, it just felt right to us! We felt strongly that we should give this a try before considering an adoption. 

As B and I started taking the very first steps to start this process, a name and a face kept popping up into our minds, it was the wife of one of my husband's friends and previous co-worker whom he has kept in touch throughout the years. I had the opportunity to meet her a few years ago and her sweetness and motherly demeanor had stayed in my mind. I was pregnant with my little K at the time. I remember so clearly her telling me how much she enjoyed each one of her pregnancies and how that was best time of her life. I never told her, but those words stayed in my mind and made my own pregnancy even sweeter and more enjoyable. A few weeks after B and I had discussed how this particular person kept popping up in our minds, N, her husband, happened to call B to discuss some work related issue. B didn't waste any time and told N a little bit more about our lives and what we were thinking on doing. To my surprise, he told B that his wife had considered being a gestational carrier in the past. I couldn't believe that! Since then I just started to feel that things were starting to fall into place. 

I truly believe that our Heavenly Father has been preparing us for this! Well, through the next few days, and after several phone conversations with A, prayers and inspiration, I received another answer from Heaven and from this remarkable woman on earth giving me opportunity to embark with us on this amazing "service project", as she put it. I never could have put it in better words! We love you A!