Welcome to the World!!!

Welcome to the world my little miracle baby...

BORN DECEMBER 16TH 2013 AT 4:50PM

WEIGHT 8 LB 4OZ  LENGTH 20 IN

You were blessed to have a lot of people waiting and caring for you! You are so loved! Words fall short to express the miracle of your birth, the spirit felt, and the love from your parents, birth mother, and all the friends that surrounded us! Thanks to all those amazing people present at the birth and wonderful staff at the hospital that were so loving and caring with every single one of us! We love you so much baby "A"!

The Final Countdown...

Wow! It feels like this has been one of the longest weeks of my life. There has been so much anticipation for this baby to come I can hardly wait!

He will be here in just two more days!!! This is the only thing I can think about for the last few days. Just today I was thinking and commenting with my husband about how long this little miracle has waited to come into this world! As most of you know by know he was tiny embryo that was frozen for about three years! I am convinced that he really wanted to come to this world and there will be a lot of joy everywhere at his birth! We surely are very excited to welcome him and he is an amazing little person to me already. I feel very strongly about that and feel so privileged to be called his mother!

My husband can testify that for the last few weeks I have been working in my house like crazy! I have painted walls, furniture, got rid of a lot of old and unnecessary items around the house, hanged stuff on the walls, done tones of laundry, folded clothes, and cleaned everything I can think of. I just want my house to look very beautiful and clean to welcome this amazing little person into our home! I think I feel ready now. I just have to finish packing everything. We are heading to the hospital tomorrow. We will drive four hours to get there and we have an scheduled induction on Monday. Please remember us in your prayers so that everything goes well and as planned for "A" and our little miracle baby. We are super excited!

THE NURSERY (I'm so happy about how it turned out)

Most FAQ's...

In the last couple of months my husband and I decided to be a little more open about sharing our good news. We are so exited about the coming of our little miracle that it just felt hard to enjoy it at its fullest unless we could openly share our happiness with others we know. I've been showered with so much love and good wishes for everyone of us involved in this experience. I am so blessed and grateful for being surrounded by so many amazing people!  I wanted my friends and neighbors to know the how and why about our decision and to feel free to ask any questions about our experience. So, here are my mostly frequently asked questions:

1. DO I THINK OUR GESTATIONAL SURROGATE WILL HAVE A HARD TIME LETTING GO OF OUR BABY AT BIRTH?

Well, although i do not attempt to answer for her because I am not in her shoes, I can say for a fact that the birth of this miracle baby is going to be a very emotional moment for all of us for a number of reasons, not just the fact that we will be the ones taking this baby home. I am sure there are many of feelings that are going to come to the surface at the time: happiness, gratitude, and immense love. To better explain this situation I pictured myself  babysitting one of my friends baby for a period of nine months; knowing that his mom will be back and take him home. Although I know that day will come, I'm sure I will still feel sad when he is gone because I got used to having him around even though I knew it was just for a while. However, as much as I care for him I know I will not attempt to keep him because I know he belongs with his family. But, I will love to stay in touch and know how he is doing. "A" explained her feelings so much more eloquently than I ever could in one of her posts. Click here to read it!

2. HOW DO GESTATIONAL SURROGATES GET PREGNANT? A gestational surrogacy requires the transfer of a previously created embryo, and for this reason the process always takes place in a clinical setting. An embryo is an organism in the early stages of development, in other words, an already fertilized egg and sperm. In our particular case, because we did IVF (In-vitro fertilization), this embryo was artificially fertilized in a lab and was about five days old and frozen for almost three years at the time of transfer. A variety of fertility medications are also given to make this type of pregnancies work.

3. IS SURROGACY LEGAL IN THE STATE OF UT? Yes, surrogacy is legal in the state of Utah. However, as opposed to other states, in the state of UT we are required to present medical verification that we, (or me, in this particular case) are not able to carry a pregnancy. In other words, the courts will not allow you to utilize a gestational surrogate just because you are avoiding getting pregnant. This process most of the time requires the use of an attorney to be able to file all paperwork with the courts prior to embryo transfer.

4. WHAT IS THE GENDER OF THE BABY AND WHEN IS THE DUE DATE? This amazing miracle baby is a boy. The official due date is December 20th, but due to us being about four hours away and not willing to miss his birth for anything in this world, we have an estimated induction date of December 16th. 

We can't be more grateful, excited, and nervous to witness this miracle take place only about ten days from today. I can't wait to meet my little guy and see his cute little face!

Surrogacy as a Moral Issue Explained...

I thought many times about defining and expanding a bit more about the whole concept of surrogacy but I kind of talked myself out of it. There is actually more than one reason for it; the first one being that regardless of what it means to me, which is the ultimate gift, it is for a number of reasons, a controversial topic in our society. And the second being that it is quite uncommon for a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon) to be the parent of a child conceived through surrogacy.  

I want the whole world to know that I stand very firm on my believes and testimony about the truthfulness of the gospel and authority of my Church, and have not ever felt any degree of disapproval in our personal decision to pursue surrogacy in our situation. As with most important decisions in our lives, I understand the degree to which this is a personal issue that is taken to our Father in Heaven for consideration.

All that being said, allow me to define some terms for you:

Traditional Surrogacy is when the surrogate mother uses her own eggs to create the child that she is carrying for the intended parents or individual. Either the sperm of the intended father is used or donor sperm. Even though the surrogate mother has a genetic connection to the child all intentions are for her to grant parental rights of the child she is carrying to the intended parents or individual that she has created a legal agreement with prior to the start of the cycle. The child is handed over to the other party right after the birth.

Gestational Surrogacy is when the surrogate carries a pregnancy and delivers a child that is created from the egg and the sperm of the intended parents. The key to this type of surrogacy is that the gestational surrogate is not genetically related to the child and acts only as a gestational carrier for the pregnancy.

As all of you know by now our surrogacy type is the latter, gestational surrogacy. 

Vanessa, a fellow LDS member and former surrogate, did an excellent job at explaining surrogacy as a moral issue within our Church on her blog here. So for lack of better words a will quote her as follows:

"Homosexuals using a Surrogate is discouraged

Single Woman using a Surrogate is discouraged

Unmarried Couples using a Surrogate is discouraged

Woman using a Surrogate simply to avoid the inconvenience of pregnancy is discouraged

People selling their eggs or sperm is discouraged 

Traditional Surrogacy is discouraged (the situation in which the Surrogate uses her own egg and then gives the baby to the intended parents)

There must be a good reason why the Intended Mother cannot carry her own child. The one and only circumstance in which I believe Surrogacy to be morally acceptable is in the case of a GESTATIONAL SURROGACY. The circumstance in which the Intended Mother and Father are the biological parents of the child, and they simply need someone to grow and carry their baby. The intended parents must be heterosexual and married with a strong relationship. This is also the situation in which the Church fully supports Surrogacy"

Only 60 More Days to Go...

Beautiful photo by Heidi at Monkeyface Photography

Lately I have been overwhelmed by a number of emotions or, as my sister simply put it, just as hormonal as a 31 week pregnant mother. Well, I have to admit although I am not physically pregnant she is right. The thought of this little miracle coming into my life in just a few weeks brings tears to my eyes more often than not. I can't wait to see his little face, and I wonder everyday how he will look like.

Last week I had a wonderful time with "A". We had the chance to chat, go to lunch, and even have a photo shoot together. I'm so happy that we had this opportunity! We both realized that as the due date approaches there are a number of things to talk and decide about. I am so grateful about her openness and consideration as we discussed the birth plan. I have to admit that sometimes is not easy to bring up this subject for me because I am constantly concerned for her feelings and well being, and don't ever want to do or say anything to hurt her even unintentionally. She made it so easy for me though. We even had the opportunity to tour the delivery and nursery areas in the hospital. She also told the nurse and obgyn that she would like the baby to be put on me at birth. I felt like she was reading my mind and a warm feeling overcame my body as I heard her say those words. Thanks "A" for opportunity to let me experience such a life changing moment that I will cherish forever!

As I think of this moment that will take place in just a few weeks, I can picture the moment to be close to what was so beautifully portrayed on this video:

  

My Perspective as a Mother: Some of my Fears as the Big Day Approaches...

One of the reasons why I decided to start this blog was to educate and inform, perhaps other prospective parents out there considering surrogacy about everything involved in this journey. When my husband and I first considered it, we googled in search of information from a parental perspective and found very limited information about surrogacy in our state. It wasn't until we were able to find a very experienced attorney on the subject that we got all of our questions answered. He confirmed to us that in fact surrogacy IS legal in the state of Utah and walked us through the entire process which included getting approval from the courts before even starting the process. To make a long story short, we started this a process about seven months before the embryo transfer. It had consumed a lot of our time, energy, financial resources, and emotional well being. We did it because we knew and felt from the very beginning that it was the right thing for us to do. Now, we can only say that it has been all well worth it! Not easy, but so worth it!

Perhaps there may be some out there that think that we intended mothers have it easy because we are not going through the typical struggles of carrying the belly. To which I can only say, at least from my own experience, that there is absolutely nothing more in this world that I wish I could do than to carry my own child and go through even the hardest physical struggles just to have him now and feel him grow.

This journey although joyful, full of expectations, and gratitude has not been an easy one. I often have to remind my sensitive side that this is a very unusual situation to avoid getting hurt by the comments or questions of some people. When referring to our surrogacy, I have had people ask questions such as how is the baby's "mom" doing (referring to the surrogate), I have been warned more than once about the possibility of our surrogate keeping the baby, I have shocked one or two people with my big news enough to make them decide not want to talk to me any more, just to mention a few examples.

However, the most difficult and emotional moment of this journey is still to come. I am referring to the birth day of this wonderful miracle of mine. Last week we had a discussion with our attorney about what is to take place that day. I have to admit it almost gave me an anxiety attack just to hear him describe the steps and the timing of the things that should take place at the birth of my child. Although all the medical staff in the hospital will be informed of the situation, I have to admit that my greatest fear is that the doctors and staff of our conservative community are not going to let me experience the joy of welcoming my own biological child into this world. I am afraid they may not freely allow me to see him in the nursery or that I may not be called his "mom" . We are still wondering if the hospital will let us stay in another room throughout the stay, as were told that is up to them to allow us to do that. (Sigh) I guess I have all these next ten weeks to prepare myself  mentally to prevent myself from being the emotional mess that I typically am.

Into the third trimester - 28 Weeks...

This week I drove 4 hours again for our 28 week appointment. This marks the beginning of the third trimester. I can't believe the time is approaching so quickly now. Our appointments are going to be every two weeks now. With the holidays approaching it feels like baby will here very soon! 

During our appointment I got to hear the baby's heartbeat one more time. It is always exciting and comforting to know he is healthy. We also found out that baby is measuring 30 weeks already. I think this baby is going to be big like my little "K" when she was born! They gotta to be my husband's genes! Apparently he has also inherited my husband's appetite.  As I like to say, my husband eats only once a day, yep, all day long (lol) :-)

To make things even more exciting this past weekend I got my first baby gifts. My wonderful mother in law and my sister in law who was visiting from out of state gave me the most adorable baby boy clothes! They are the cutest thing I have seen! I can't be more excited for this baby to come. I can hardly wait!